Summer Secrets
by phoenixphire93
Summary: An angst filled fic, where Hermione is on her way to hitting rock bottom before an unlikely person helps her back up. Hermione and her problems. Just how far will Hermione fall? HG/SS romance, T at the moment WILL CHANGE TO M
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I thought that I should explore the darker side of life. This will become a HG/SS fic, but I am going to make it a lot more angsty first. Please review even if to give me pointers on how to write it, this is my first real angst fic and encouragement and ideas are welcome. Thank- you!**

Disclaimer: ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO J.K. ROWLING AND ANY PLACES AND WHATEVER! THIS SCREWED UP PLOT IS MINE THOUGH. 

~*~

It was one hell of a summer that Hermione would not forget. It all started the day that she came home from Hogwarts. Her parents had picked her up from the train, but the picture had seemed off somehow. Her mother and father's smile seemed forced and tired and they would avoid talking to each other if it could be helped. They would also make sure that they were on either side of Hermione, she found this weird but Hermione just brushed it off as being stressed. She was looking forward to a nice, relaxing summer just hanging out with her family and reading, but little did she know, that fate had other opinions.

The first week, Hermione had noticed a change in her parents. Their eyes would reflect frostiness when looking at each other and their tone would become frosty in their responses. It was the second week that they had been trying to get Hermione on 'their sides' with bribing and being nice and allowing her to do anything she wanted. But what bugged her the most was the phrase most commonly used all the time with both "… bet your mum/dad isn't as good as me!" She just wished that they would stop trying to win her over like a prize; it was confusing the hell out of her. She wished she could ask one of them, but she felt like she would be making it worse and that they would get over it. It was two weeks after that, the full fledged arguments started. They would scream about the tiniest thing from what was for dinner to what Hermione could do with her future. No- one had bothered to ask her what she felt like doing. Her father wanted her to get married to a nice boy that could pay both for her but also for him, while her mum wanted her to go to a Muggle university. It was during this fight that Hermione told them that she would be taking a teaching job at Hogwarts under an apprenticeship in the magical world.

It was then that the attentions of the fights were on her. Her mother had a glare that could freeze fire any time that she looked at her daughter. Hermione could feel the disapproval and disgust coming off in waves towards her anytime her mother caught sight of her. Her father was actually the one to say what was mentally coming from her mother. He called her an "Ugly Freak" and she tried to be better to them both, by doing more chores and taking more responsibility. She couldn't understand where the coldness came from. These weren't the parents that she left behind last summer. These were empty shells with cruel souls in them.

It was just one month into the summer that her parents got a separation. Her mother went straight out and landed a guy just two days after it was settled and the guy was seedy. He would leer at her when her mother was out of the room and sometimes even tried to cop a feel of her from time to time. Sometimes her mum caught him doing this, but instead of putting him out and making the creep stop, she became jealous and started to hate Hermione. On the other hand when she went to visit her father, he would always have a bottle of alcohol nearby and it would be empty by the end of most nights. He had started with just yelling and blaming Hermione for his failure of a life. It was Hermione's fault that his wife left him; it was Hermione's fault that she was a 'freak' and he would say that he was "no daughter of his!" He then progressed to hitting her across the head, simple slaps with force, if she didn't do something the right way. It scared Hermione, because when she told him that he shouldn't hit her, he then proceeded to punch her. The bruises he left were always where she could cover it up. He would lock her in his room at night with a padlock so that she couldn't run away, and sometimes he would bring home prostitutes and she could not keep out the sounds her father and the prostitute made and she would be forced to listen to it all without any route to escape.

Silently at night she let her tears fall as she went to sleep. It was the only weakness that she would allow herself. At the start of this ordeal happening, she had vowed that she would be strong and nothing they did would break her. She wasn't so sure anymore. It kept getting worse, her mum's boyfriend actually running his hand up her leg; her mother calling her a whore and seeing her father's eyes had something resembling glee in them when he hit her enough to make her bleed.

It was the end of summer and tomorrow she would be going back to Hogwarts. She couldn't tell anyone about her summer, the shame was too overwhelming. She would have to pretend that everything was alright and that she was the happy bookworm with no troubles other than passing her N.E.W.T.S. And that was what hurt the most, knowing that she was completely alone with no one to help her. They would never see past the façade to the broken soul that lay beneath. Realising that she was alone, only made her feel cold and numb and she just couldn't stand it.

It was the night before she boarding the Hogwarts Express for her Seventh Year that she first found a razor blade and held it to her wrist making thin neat lines.

It was only in pain, as the blood ran down in tears to her elbow, that she felt truly calm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Thank you guys for the reviews, they made this chapter come faster (cause I admit I am a little slack updating. Oops!) This is Snape's summer, so tell me what you think! Review and tell me if you hate it or rate it! Or pointers on writing or just general comments about the weather if you like. Read on! **

**P.S Please tell me if I should change the rating to M, I don't know if it reached that level yet. Thanks guys!**

Severus Snape was man that was described as cold-hearted and unsympathetic. It was true that he was rarely sympathetic, especially to hormonal teenage problems. He was usually very happy to be away from the pathetic children in the summer and just relax. This summer was completely different. Voldemort had been on the rise for a while and they were on the brink of a Second War. And this time, Professor Snape, spy for the Order of the Phoenix, was caught directly in the middle. He had never had any fairy tale notions of him living a relaxed life after the war and every day, the outlook of him surviving was looking bleaker. But the most concerning thing was the fact that he yet again couldn't bring himself to care over his loss of life. He was trying desperately searching for something to keep him holding on and fighting back, but his will was slipping.

This summer had been the worst he had experience by far, and he had personally faced Lucifer in hell many times before. He had been called more and more times by the power hungry man that took pleasure out of his followers' pain. Snape really wished the person who came up with the spell 'Crucio' should have it applied to him every five minutes then given a small rest so that he could not become immune to its effects. The Death Eaters had become overzealous in their quest for a pureblood 'dream' world, taking to beating their victims, stabbing them with a rusted silver dagger and raping them until they would beg for death. By that time their eyes would have lost any resemblance to their soul any way and only then would they kill them, in the slowest way possible. The murderers would torture them in such exaggerated fashion, like they were telling a story at dinner, to the others with a manic smile upon their blood smeared faces. And Severus would be made to join in and pretend to get off on what he saw, heard and felt beneath his filthy hands.

The worst point was a week before Hogwarts came together to start a new year. Severus was called to a meeting, where he was made to kiss the hems of a soulless killer. Voldemort had announced they were going on a little 'excursion' to a Muggle suburb just outside London. They were all promised their fun and most quickly apparated, to get a head start. Snape truly felt sick to his stomach, but was forced to go along with it anyway. When he got there, the destruction had already begun. Homes were on fire, with victims tied to chairs being burned alive while some of the Death Eaters listened to their screams like it was music. Muggle boys were being tied down with ropes shot out of wands, then proceeded to be beaten brutally till they were drowning in their own blood upon the pavement. The Muggle girls and women were being herded into a small circle then given a port key and sent to god knows where. Severus just sank down into the corner, in awe of how fast the destruction could destroy lives as guilt flooded in waves because he could not have prevented this from happening. As the Death Eaters were cleaning up themselves and finishing off, they could hear Muggle sirens. They told Snape where the next 'entertainment' would be and disappeared. Knowing he had to do something he sent the Dark Mark, only visible to wizards, into the orange sky that the stars contrasted horribly with the stars, if they could be seen at all.

When he had arrived at the final destination, he saw the Muggle girls and women lined up against the wall, arms chained to stone wall. He knew what was happening, before anyone said a word and he also knew that he couldn't get out of this. Voldemort handed out girls one by one to the lucky 'winners' who would get to do whatever they wanted to them as long as they did the minimum requirements while Voldemort watched. He handed Severus a girl that looked no older than fifteen and resembled his students. Her mousy brown hair was sticking to her neck and forehead from the sweat and her sky blue eyes showed that she was terrified. He would do his best to be quick and as painless as possible, but he still had to maintain the part.

He through her to the floor on her back and came on top of her. The girls eyes widened as she realised what was about to happen. Severus tried to put as much regret and apology he could into his eyes so that she would realise that he didn't want to do it. She didn't see much past the point of panic and screamed out a terrified shrill sound that made Snape cringe inside in horror, as he started to rape her. She screamed the whole time, even though he was being a gentle he could go without raising suspicion and every scream would rip his already irreparable soul apart. He continued to cast 'Crucio' and 'Sectemsempra' as her blood gushed out of her many wounds that it was impossible to say just where it all came from. And all he had done was the minimum.

He returned to Hogwarts in complete numbness. He felt filthy and disgusted in himself. The guilt that would twist his gut like a knife every time he thought of a detail had turned into self loathing. He truly hated himself, even more than Voldemort, for his stupid mistakes. If he hadn't turned to the Dark Lord, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. He grabbed himself a bottle of whiskey and gulped a few mouthfuls down, before staring into the fire. Even now as he sat in his comfortable teaching quarters, he could still hear the girl's screams.

He had watched her die, choking on her own vomit, as the light left her eyes making them glassy and cold. It ripped his heart open, because she was just another name on a gravestone. The girl was just another casualty in this War and Severus knew that by the end, he would be as well, one way or another.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello here is chapter 3! Please review and tell me about it! Rate It or Hate It, tell me! Read on…**

The station that housed the legendary Hogwarts Express was coming up into view for Hermione. It was her freedom, away from the Muggle world. There was nothing good about Muggles and nothing keeping her tied to this world other that stings she wished more than anything to cut. It was her father that was walking beside her on the stone pavement, seeming the perfectly polite man that loved his daughter, but Hermione could still see the hate and disgust deep within his irises.

Just before they reached the barrier that the girl had to walk through, her father stopped her and pulled her to the side.

"Well have fun, Sweetie" he said in a bitter sarcastic voice, a mocking smile on his lips. "Hopefully I won't have to see the disgrace for a human being, ever again, do try to not come back." He laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world while slowly walking away and was already in the distance when he missed Hermione's whispered "I'll try".

Here Hermione stood in front of the barrier, with absolutely no feeling at all. She was leaving the world that hurt her so much for a year and that should have made her happy. Seeing her friends, who care about her, should have made her ecstatic, but all she could feel was worry. What if they thought she was tainted, just like her parents did? What if they think that she was a slut like her mother did or that the bruises were well earned like her father thought. But the most important question is whether they would see the girl she was or the girl that she is? Because Hermione knew that she was truly nothing like that girl anymore. _It would be best to act like my old self, that way no one has to know _She thought. Bracing herself for the unknown, she slinked through the barrier. The first person she knocked into was none other than Draco Malfoy.

He smirked as he said "Watch where you are going Mudblood! I realise that your blood is to dirty to see through, but at least try not to get dirt on those who are worthy." He expected a rise and an insult that ended with ferret, but all he received was a small nod while she looked to the ground and continued onto the train. It was only then that he noticed how fragile she looked, but he shook it off mistaking it for last year sadness.

Hermione just continued to walk past many happy faces feeling numb. Malfoy was right, she was dirty, she felt so dirty, but they would never know what she faced. The thought just went through her head as she found an empty compartment. It was only when Harry and Ron walked in that she at least tried to be civil and put a smile on her face. It was the usual smile that the boys were used to but one that was wary. They just thought that maybe time had made her more mature and would be lecturing them about homework before the train even left the platform. But she said hello and talked about how much of a great year it will be until the boys lost interest and started talking about Quidditch. She found it remarkably easy that she could make the boys lose any interest in what she said very quickly. She knew it was good that they didn't listen to closely and it shielded herself away from unwanted questions, but it hurt her that they never really cared what she had said and only used her intelligence for their own gain.

Did they really not care about what she had to say? Maybe they thought that she was only meant to be used like a tissue. She watched them intensely, as their bodies turned towards each other not even letting her into the conversation. The thoughts swirling through her head made her sink more and more into the numbness. She sat there just watching out the window, with no thoughts other than the strange feeling of being lost. It was only when the boys had stopped talking did they bother to look over to her.

Ron mistook her facial expression as worry over the year and proceeded to tell her "It's ok 'Mione, you don't have to start studying right this second to pass the N.E.W.T.S ok? You can get a life first and maybe not be so boring!" This wasn't what he meant but he didn't notice how the words had come out or how they had sounded. Each word was like ice shards stabbing into her chest. He had said that she was boring and no one likes boring people. She looked at him with a small smile and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror as a single tear slid down her cheeks. She had thought she could count on her friends to care about what had happened to her or at least be there for her, but it turned out that her trust had been betrayed yet again. And that had hurt the most out of that whole spiel. They were friends and she had stuck with them through all of their bad times and yet they couldn't even tell that there was something wrong. Had they not paid enough attention over the years to notice that she wasn't the person she was, even with her acting like it?

She took the blade from out of her pocket and made 3 long slits on her left wrist. The pain that came from them took away the other pains and made her feel like she was actually there. still alive and able to feel pain, even if self afflicted. The blood flowed down the sink in drips until she finally washed the rest of the blood away.

They had arrived at Hogwarts and Hermione was walking into the hall to sit at the Gryffindor table when Ron caught up to her and grabbed her wrist to slow her down. What he didn't realise was that he grabbed the area over her cuts very tightly making her wince at the pain. He had apologise for the way it had sounded and had laughed it off while he walked to talk to the other boys and girls. Hermione just sat staring into her drink for the rest of Dinner, like she was wishing that it was big enough to drown herself in before saying goodnight to the boys and walking to her room.

Severus Snape, who behind the emotionless façade was watching Miss Granger and found that something had changed and it wasn't for the better. He vowed he would watch over her, even if it was like paying back his debt to the other girl, and find out what had happened, before walking back to his quarters.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello Hello! This one is a lot longer than the rest but don't get your hopes up for the rest! Thanks to the reviews they were fantastic and hopefully this turned out ok! Rate It or Hate it tell me in a review or just generally what your favourite animal is? Have a good day/night! Read on…**

**P.S I had to move the time along a bit because I couldn't think of anything other than putting you to sleep and I would really like you to read not sleep, anyway carry on!**

The sun was breaking over the horizon and it fell in beams through the curtains, waking Hermione up as it shone in her eyes. She was silently waiting for either her father to come and give her a morning slap or for her mother's creepy boyfriend to wake her up by other means. When neither came she recognised that she was at Hogwarts. She felt like she could forget everything that had happened and just pretend that it was just like sixth year. But she knew she had to get up and continue with the façade that she was fine. _Maybe if I think it hard enough, it might happen_ she thought to herself everyday and everyday she was proved wrong.

She sat dormant through her breakfast and only attempted to smile weakly to her friends. The Gryffindors just thought her mood was from 'Girl Problems' and 'Stress Overload from Study' for the past four weeks that they had been at school. She would tell herself to just pretend and go along with their games and keep her head down and work. She couldn't be weak, she wouldn't! She would still study like mad, because she could lose herself into the ancient texts not thinking about her reality, but she never drew attention to herself now.

Hermione knew it would be best if no one looked at her directly or they could see the scars that outline her body or the fragile soul within. So she sat at the back of every class and never raised her hand. When people asked about this she just told them that she was giving them a chance. It was a clever excuse she came up with in her more inspirational days.

Draco was also noticing that she would not sit with the wonder twins and her hand wasn't permanently defying gravity. It had begun to worry him that she wasn't the girl she was last year and even more shocked that her friends and the other Gryffindors hadn't noticed. She was extremely thin and pale all the time almost like she would faint constantly. He had often wondered if she ate or if she just pushed his food around her plate. It was his father that hadn't Muggleborns and that was his father's problems, not his. But unless he wanted to be beaten by his father ,he did 'What a Malfoy Should Do'.

Severus also noticed these things about the girl, and his concern was growing. In all of these four weeks she hadn't put a hand up to answer a question with a verbal essay. He found that he was missing her intellect and challenge that she presented to him to teach her something. The other teachers had noticed this to but they had bought her excuse about letting others take the spotlight, although they were sad that she was contributing anymore. He didn't buy it. He'd once tried to take it up with Albus, but he said to "let the girl go until she was ready", mumbling something about a horse and water.

It was now the seventh year potions class and Hermione's last class of the day. She couldn't wait to just get to her room. She wasn't feeling well and the stress of what teachers wanted from her was getting to her. It was just in her past class that Flitwick had said that she would be the top of the class easy. Did they not see how much work she had to put in to get there? It was not easy, nor was it the greatest fun in the world.

The potion they were making today was highly advanced and needed the full attention of the person brewing it. It was an extremely powerful healing potion that if made correctly could bring someone back from the brink of death, however if the attention was distracted or the ingredients added wrongly or at wrong times the effect of the potion could be fatal. That was why Snape had paired Neville with her, so that she could keep an eye on him. But that didn't work.

Hermione who was distracted over the depressing thought of what her future might hold accidentally added the dragon blood at the wrong time and barely had time to hit the floor after Snape saw what she did and yelled for everyone to get down. Neville, not as fast as everyone else collapsed onto the floor, with the potion making contact with his skin. His body started to convulse violently as his lips began to turn blue and his eyes taking on a glassy empty stare. Snape rushed over with a healing potion shoving it down Longbottoms throat in desperation and panic over the thought of a dead student.

Just as the colour returns to Neville's face, everyone is already standing and looking at Hermione in shock. She was the perfect know-it-all and she had made a mistake. Not just any mistake, but one that almost killed her friend. Severus, not realising who he was talking to or what he had noticed recently about her turned to face her with the look of pure hatred and anger on his face.

"I thought an idiot like you knew what you were doing when it came to the potion. Don't tell me there wasn't a book on the subject?" he yelled at Hermione. She hated the look in his eye and it hurt but she didn't understand why. She just remained silent trapped in her place by his eyes.

His anger continuing to overpower any reason he had, the proceeded to tell her, "Get out! Come back in an hour for your first detention and your only one if you're expelled for this!" he then looked away from her, as if she disgusted him to the point that he didn't want her to live.

Hermione walked from class in a daze. She had overwhelming guilt that she almost killed her good friend because of her concentration, the thought of Harry's or Ron's and most of all Neville's looks that would be coming her way making her want to cry. The hatred in the Professors eyes, was the thing that put her over the edge. He never even gave that look to Harry or Neville. In his eyes, she was truly not worth anything, just like her father had predicted. She sat in her stall in moaning Myrtles bathroom and let the tears fall. She felt worthless and horrible. It was close to five minutes till her detention when the tears finally dried enough to let Hermione see what she was doing. The blade that had become her greatest ally and friend, took the pressure off of her shoulders and she made the thin lines across her left arm like the other times, only this time a little bit deeper making it bleed more. She watched as it ran down her arm and up her sleeve before she heard someone enter the bathroom. It was Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, gossiping about the day. She made a quick rush job covering her cuts and rushed out as they entered other stalls.

In the Dungeons was growing impatient with the detentionee was a confused Severus Snape. He didn't mean to yell at her like that, but she had almost caused someone's death. Just as he was pondering the situation there was a knock at the door. After Hermione swiftly made her way into the room, she stood patiently avoiding all eye contact with the man in front of her.

Half an hour after setting the task for her to do, he watched her. this was the first time that she could look at her and truly see her up close. He also noticed that she winced when she moved her left arm certain ways. Curious about both the arm and why she was the way she was he called her up to the desk. Hermione kept the calm façade up and turned to watch him.

"What is wrong?" he asked softly, so soft that Hermione couldn't believe that it came from the man before her, the bat of the dungeons. She didn't want to talk to him about it so she moved away from him towards the door, only he saw this moved and grabbed her hurt wrist. She let out a strangled scream as he clamped down hard over the cuts. He quickly let go and looked at his hand. It was covered in crimson blood, and he took her wrist and looked at the thin lines that streaked over her arm. He just stared at it, shocked. He never suspected this was happening. There was also think white scars that suggested that this wasn't a first time. Hermione expecting an insult over her deep dark secret, let a tear slide down her cheek and ran out the door and though the dungeons the only thought going through her head was wanting to get back to her room. Snape was left standing there stunned, what had lead the bright girl to do such a thing?


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey Guys! Thanks for all the reviews so far and keep them coming! Sorry haven't written in a while, but here it is! Rate it or Hate it, tell me in a review! Or tell me what your favourite thing about Christmas is! Have a great day and read on…**

Severus was sitting there pondering what had just caused the know-it-all Gryffindor girl to break down, when his left arm started to burn. He slowly pulled up his sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark. Before him, melded to his skin for life, was the biggest mistake of his life. The circumstances that had lead him to graciously except the mark from the lunatic that held so much promise for Severus to vent his feelings still haunted him to this day. He had never had a good past, terrible nightmares that he called reality cause pain within his soul. He sat there staring at the tragic mark when it started to burn hotter, pulling him from his thoughts. He sighed and went to get his robes. After using the floo that connected to the Headmasters office he stood just close to the door while he waited for his true master to turn his attention to him.

"Albus, I have been called." He informed his mentor.

Albus sighed looking at the tired man in front of him before saying "Very well, best of luck Severus and come home safe." He said wearily, wondering how long they could continue to play this game that ruined all lives if they were the ones that kept on living. With a tight affirmative he left for the long walk to the apperating spot in Hogsmeade. He could go into the forest, but he needed the time to organise his mind before appearing in front of his leader on the path to hell. Severus had a lot to hide, but mainly what he had discovered from Hermione. It would do no good for the Dark Lord to find out that Hermione Granger, muggleborn and friend to Harry Potter was having problems. He himself would have to find out what was going on and try to find someone to fix it. He cleared his thoughts and put up his shields before he pressed his wand to the Dark Mark and disappeared to the Dark Lords side.

~*~

He arrived in the dingy, dirty forest where the Dark Lord was currently presiding. He quickly pulled on his silver mask and his hood while walking in the direction where the throne sat. The throne was made out of bones that had been taken from the victims of the death eaters; some of them dead, while others were alive. They were then coated in the finest gold that magic could make so that the Dark Lord could sit where he thought he 'rightfully belonged'. Lord Voldemort looked down at his followers, sneering at the frightened smell that came off most of them.

"Hello my _Friends,_ how nice of you to join Me." he narrowed his eyes at them, while they unconsciously shrank back to avoid his wrath.

"Today is the first day in taking over properly. I am sick of only doing little things to scare the public. They should worship me not fear me! But first of all is to get rid of little Harry and the pathetic fool Dumbledore!" he sneered the names with hatred while his eyes turned a deeper shade red.

"This means taking over Hogwarts and destroying the order, so u shall have fun all the more, my followers. The end is soon and they shall never know just what hit them!" he cackled evilly, while the death eaters unsure what to do, started to nervously laugh with him. Voldemort stalked back to his throne while watching the men and women before him. He called Severus in a quiet voice to kneel before him.

"Very good Severus, what is the report on Dumbledore the old fool?" he asked eye the man before him for any lies.

"There has been no activity that Dumbledore has given and he seems tight lipped on any plans he has with anyone, I don't even think potter knows." There was a probing of his mind, and Severus let the Lord enter, but only offered images of Dumbledore with his lips in a tight line that accompanied a look of concentration.

Seeming satisfied Voldemort said, "Very well Severus, what can you tell me about potter?"

"Potter seems he is less concentrated on his studies that would surely help him in the battle, but it seems he distracted with thinking about you, my lord." He said freely speaking half-truths.

Voldemort seem to think on that for a bit before a small smile crossed his face. "Now what can you tell me about his friends? A Weasel is one isn't it and a mudblood the other. Anything interesting going on with them?" he asked hissing out the words.

It took a moment for Severus to reign in his panic over what to say as images of Hermione floated across his mind, before he covered it up and said "No, they are as supportive of potter as always." He tried to control his feelings and was indeed very glad that the creature before him didn't try to read his mind at that time.

"They are crucial to my plan Severuss, make sure you watch them carefully from now on. I want to know what is going on with them. Dismissed, next time come back with some information!" his eyes narrowed dangerously as he cast a quick _Crucio_, to make his point. Snape quickly got off the ground, bowed to his lord and apperated back to Hogwarts as fast as he could.

~*~

He had finished giving the Headmaster his report and although concerned about the information, Albus just turned pensive with a nod of his head. When Severus reached his quarters he fell into his chair, Death Eater robes and all. He was praying for a very strong Firewhiskey that could get him drunk and not thinking about his many problems when a house elf appeared who bought him one like it did most weeks. He had turned to drinking away his problems at a young age and though he was not as bad now, he still couldn't break that habit. He was angry that he was still spying, sad over what he has to do to keep both sides happy and very afraid for Hermione. And as he finished of the last in his glass, he wondered just how long he could keep Hermione from the Dark Lord.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! Thanks for the review and I would love to have some more, cause they make me excited to write. Haha makes me sound like a review whore… lols I hope you guys like this chapter, so tell me what you think, oh and the rating will go up to M pretty soon as this gets more dark and interesting and Hermione moves to rock bottom, and I'll give you a hint, Draco plays a part in putting her there. Please read on and rate it or hate it tell me in a review Please!! Have a great day/night!**

**Disclaimer: all characters and places belong to J.K Rowling. Yepyeps**

Hermione complete mortified over what had happened in the detention had laid low hoping that no attention would be given to her, only it had the opposite effect. The teachers were worried because she was more withdrawn that usual, opting to sit at the back of the classroom. When she wasn't in the classes she sat in the back of the library, surrounded by books that made her look busy, but she mostly stared at the words seeing nothing of what was in front of her. She couldn't bear to be in the same room as Snape, fearing the cold callous tones saying how disappointed he was that she wasn't handling the situation better. She could just picture him towering over her like a great terror ready to rip her to shreds for being 'weak'.

All Hermione wanted was someone who could help her but she couldn't trust anyone. They would see the scars and go running and that would surely lead to questions. Then the pity would form in their eyes before turning to disgust. She was tainted with bruises as well as bad blood. She understood what the purebloods thought, the Muggles were monsters. They would all think that the blood flowing through her veins were dirty foul things and would try to eliminate the unworthy being from the world or even worse; send her back to the Muggle world. Permanently. Either way she was dead, because she wasn't sure she could handle going back to what was there, not now, not ever. She had the sinking feeling she always got that came with the craving to assault herself and was slowly getting up in a trance like state, not aware that a blond boy was watching her in the shadow of book cases.

Draco had also noticed these differences in the girl that had always bested him in everything. He had changed this summer, seen things, he would not wish upon anyone not even Potter himself. It had changed his perspective on Mudbloods a lot actually, but he could not bring himself to think about it, not here where spies were everywhere. But he wanted to know what was going on with the girl that he saw deteriorating in front of him. What Hermione didn't know was that Draco respected her because she broke the mould that his father had always proclaimed about Muggleborns and in a way was a sign of hope to many in the shadows of darkness trying to see the sun. He noticed how she got up in a trance like state, rubbing her wrists slightly. He had seen this mark before on some of the other Slytherin girls facing the bleak future. Shock came over him as he realise what the girl was about to do and not knowing what made him do it he ran over to her trying to stop her from leaving.

"Stop!" he yelled quietly gaining other people attention from the studies. Hermione turned around shocked out her state and blushed furiously when he was standing there wide eyed.

Gathering her courage she asked "What do you want Malfoy?" trying to put as much malice into her words as she could but came out sounding like a frightened mouse.

Draco stared at her. She clearly had problems she didn't want people to find out, just like him. _Maybe by helping her, I could help me_ he thought. Draco may have a different outlook to life, but he was still a Slytherin. "I want to talk. That's all." He said calmly to her trying to show his sincerity in his eyes.

"What, so u can hex me, beat me up?" she asked with tears forming in her eyes. She could not handle this at the moment.

"No! I just want to talk, give me a chance Hermione, just one! I have changed, one talk that's all." He said emotion thick in his voice.

Hermione looked at the blond pureblood before him, shocked he used her first name. He had shadows under his eyes, his hair messed up all over the place and his eyes duller then she had ever seen them. _Maybe he needs help_ she thought to herself. Neither knowing that wanting to help the other was a subconscious call for help.

"Okay, let's talk." She answered hesitantly.

They walked out of the library to an inner part of the courtyard where no one could find them as storm clouds rolled over the hills towards them. They sat there staring at each other waiting for the other to go first. Neither wanted to give up their secrets, but Draco knew he had to get her talking.

He sighed before asking "Great weather isn't it?" trying to break the ice. Hermione smiled a real smile in what had seemed like forever at his lame attempt at talking.

"Yes, I like it when it storms." She said letting a small bit of information loose.

"Why is that?" Draco asked intrigued.

"Because the clouds slowly blacken until it blocks out the sun, the raindrops soaking you within a minute while the lightning flashed and the thunder rolls. It's the most powerful thing out there and no one can control it. Everyone can feel it and to the clouds and lights, everyone is equal." She reasoned staring up at the sky thoughtful.

Draco could see the beauty behind the statement and how well it applied to his life. Suddenly the lightning seemed like a breath of fresh air instead of a deadly flash. He needed someone at the moment and he knew so did she. So he offered the one thing they needed.

"Friends?" he asked the girl, hoping that she wouldn't ask about the past or laugh at him. But on close inspection, he thought that laughing might break the fragile girl. Instead Hermione just repeated a word that made him feel lighter than he had since he got off the Hogwarts Express the summer before.

"Friends" she agreed, thinking that maybe, just maybe she could trust him with part of her secret.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, I know that these last few chapters haven't had HGSS, but I promise that they are important! And this bit in this chapter is CLICHÉ, but let's pretend that it's not. I hope this is up to standard but if not give me some pointers. Please review! I hope you all had a great holiday! Over and Out!**

**Disclaimer: J.K ROWLING OWNS EVERYTHING EXCEPT MY HARRY POTTER HARD COVERS BOOKS BECAUSE I BOUGHT THEM MYSELF!**

Draco and Hermione were sitting in the little alcove staring at the storming clouds that surrounded them, both off in their own little worlds. Hermione could not just believe she had made friends with her worst enemy of so many years. What was even stranger to her was that he noticed that something wasn't right with her.

"How did you know I was going to… do something before in the library?" she asked the blonde haired boy.

Staring that the ground, he answered quietly, "Personal experience I suppose you could say."

Hermione's face screwed up in shock. The arrogant boy, who seemed as though he could buy life, had experienced something horrible, which was totally unexpected. Draco sat there looking at the ground, watching as the dust swirled around in the wind. A single pearly tear ran down his translucent skin.

" My father… is always one to ensure that Malfoys stay on top. I was beaten when I was younger so that I would do what he wanted. That was horrible, I was always afraid to step out of line." He looked up and into Hermione's eyes. She saw that the silver orbs reflected the storm that rumbled in the background. "That was before he moved on to _Crucio_'s." he finished bitterly.

Draco slowly drew up the sleeve on his white school shirt to reveal scars on his left arm. These were the type of scars that were self-inflicted, ones that mirrored Hermione's perfectly. She couldn't help but gasp.

He let out an awkward laugh before saying, "I have never told anybody that before." Draco still had secrets but he was hoping that this one would help Hermione from becoming anything like him.

"Do you still do it?" she asked as she pointed to the cuts running up his arm.

"No." Draco said staring into the sky. "I no longer bend to what my father expects me to do." He smiled. "And it also hurts the people that care about you." He looked into her eyes with sudden seriousness.

Hermione couldn't believe it. Why should she care if it hurts the people that care about her? Wasn't it the people that she cared about most that hurt her worst. Emotionally and physically. And then her supposed friends didn't even notice what was different about her. It had been a month of Hermione spiraling down into the dark abyss and they had only made insulting remarks about how she should get out and eating habits. It hurt her that her three best friends including Ginny couldn't even see what was happening and yet her enemy of six years had gotten her problem spot on or really just what she was doing. Hermione looked away from the seriousness and out to the grounds with the fallen leaves swirling around above the ground.

"So now that you know about me what about you? It might help to talk about it." Draco said tenderly.

She opened her mouth to say something but she froze. She just couldn't tell him. Yes he would get the fact about the beating but no the emotional trauma that went along with it and her mothers creepy sleazy boyfriend constantly trying to get her into his bed and how terrifying it is. To see the hate in both parents eyes whenever they had to place their eyes on her. She tried so hard to tell him, how they blamed her for everything happening, how they loved that she was at school and sometimes she even thought that they might have never wanted her to be born.

"I… I…I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't." She whispered as the tears rolled down her cheeks as Draco rushed forward to try to offer comfort. It was right at this moment that Professor McGonagall came rushing around the corner. She immediately saw that Hermione had tears running down her face as Draco was coming towards her and reacted on instinct.

"50 points from Slytherin, Mr Malfoy! I don't care what you have done to Ms Granger but it was clearly enough." She stopped looking down her nose to examine Hermione. "Perhaps a detention is required hmm?" she said looking sternly at the blond Slytherin. Just when they thought it couldn't get worse Severus came walking around the corner, just as Hermione opened her mouth to say that Draco did nothing wrong.

"He did nothing, Professor. He was only helping me that was all." She said strongly.

"If that's the case then Mr Malfoy can go back to his studies. However, you Ms Granger need to make up for that detention and the other two that was given when you walked out of the room." He had snuck up behind McGonagall, making her jump while staring intently at Hermione. "Come along now."

Snape quickly walked towards the dungeons, with the slow girl in tow. She was mortified from the last detention as well as terrified for what this one held. Severus was determined to help her, whether she wanted it or not. Because if they didn't fix Hermione's problem, she would end up dead. One way or Another. But what the other one didn't know couldn't quite hurt them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, there were great reviews that wanted a chapter update so here it is and the reviews made me very happy so I had to write faster. THANK YOU to ALL the reviewers and readers so far. **_**Thank you especially to the few of you that review just about every chapter thank you so much for that and please continue to do so!**_

**Emma- I wish that you had signed in so that I could tell you that you were very close indeed, only it will be kinda different and you will just have to see how it goes I guess :D p.s thanks for the tip on the cutting, I did not know that and will incorporate it in future chapters.**

**Ok guys please tell me if you think that this goes too fast? I don't know so you will have to tell me! Reviews make my life, so tell me what you think. Here we go…**

**Disclaimer: J.k Rowling owns all harry potter things except this depressing plot, I think hers is more up beat, apart from everyone who dies- RIP SIRIUS **

The walk down towards the dungeons was silent and terrifying. The temperature dropped to icy cold nearer the potions room, making Hermione shiver. Snape just looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

Once they got into the classroom, the Professor took his place behind his desk while the silent girl just stood before him staring at her shoes feeling terribly exposed. They remained in that position with Snape's icy glare, blazing into her head. Finally Hermione got her Gryffindor courage together and turned her head up to stare at him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry that I ran out from the previous detention." She said boldly, expecting him to make some judgment about what happened last time. Instead Severus surprised her with a slow nod of his head, his eyes still watching her intensely. Hermione sick of the stare went over to the caldrons, ready to clean them again when Severus stopped her.

"You won't be cleaning caldrons. Instead you will be brewing a potion." He said while getting out of his seat, and walking towards an already set up station. "I wish for you to make Polyjuice Potion, which I am sure you are familiar with." He ended his words with the slight uprising of the corner of his lips in a gentle smirk.

"Yes sir, but I cannot do it in two detentions." She said her teeth worrying her lip as she stared at the ingredients littering the table, hoping that Severus didn't know about her second year.

"I am aware of that Miss Granger. That is why you will be brewing it for the whole month required for extra credit that will gain you access to many universities- world wide." He tried to bait her, knowing that the old Hermione would have jumped at the chance but with this new Hermione he was just not sure. But just as he said the words, her eyes lit up the thought of the academic world opening up for her.

She still had the same goals in life, still wanted to be the best she could be and get the greatest degree she could, but now she wanted it for different reasons. Before she was just doing it because it was a new world to her and she was going to make sure that she fit into the new world perfectly and wanted to be needed by it. Now she was going to make sure that she never had to enter the Muggle world, or at least go back to her parents ever, ever again after she had left it, which would not happen till after graduation.

"Thank you sir and yes I will brew the potion and the credit would be much appreciated." She sounded much like the old Hermione, Severus noted and it made him want to smile. It was the control that he had that made sure he didn't.

"Well then get to work." He said gruffly before stalking back to his desk. Sitting in his chair under the disguise of working, he contemplated how to get Hermione to open up to him. There was no way that she was going to tell him anything, since she thought he was the great big bat of the dungeons and would use it against her. Well then, he had no other choice then to be her friend. He had one month to help her out, which was fitting because it was only one month till the Christmas holidays.

Hermione, on the other hand was busily mixing ingredients, and adding them at the right times to the start of the potion. She was concerned about why Snape was giving her credit and angry that he might be taking pity on her, but she didn't care when a huge metaphorical door opened just a tad and was screaming come through here. She was ready to leave her old life and start her new. It still hurt like hell at her parents betrayal, but she wasn't just going to sit around anymore. She was going to get out even if it killed her eventually.

It was coming time to finish the very basic start and it was near stable enough to leave, when Severus came down to inspect the potion. Hermione stiffened as he got near, memories of their last encounter still fresh in her mind. She just knew that he was going to say how pathetic it was and was afraid that the door may be closing with just the words of Snape. She stiffened her defenses and held still waiting for his answer.

Severus looked down at the potion. She had gotten further than he thought she would in one night and as always perfect. He was going to make some comment about how it would of coarse be perfect especially with all the 'extra practice' when he caught himself. If his was going to get her friendship and trust he must start now. Still gazing into the caldron he glanced up at her and spoke very clearly.

"It is a very good job, Miss Granger. You may go." He said, with his dark eyes with a gently glittering.

Hermione was of course in major shock as she nodded slowly to him with disbelieving eyes and continued to pack up everything.

Just before she left she stopped at the door and quietly whispered "Goodnight sir." before stepping out, not hearing Severus sigh or his quiet response of "Goodnight Hermione."

Hermione felt very light which was strange for her, since she always felt like she was treading water. And then something remarkable happened. Hermione Smiled a bright smile which was the first in a few months. She had just earned the praise of the one person who refused to give it. She felt in control which was another first in a while.

Hermione continued to smile all the way to Gryffindor Tower.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, did you miss me? I realize that I have neglected this story (really all stories) but I just not had the will to write, hopefully that will change. Please forgive this chapter and be nice, because I haven't written in 4 months and I'm trying to get into the swing of things again. As it was my birthday some days ago, I give this to you as a present. Please review me, even if its just telling me that this chapter doesn't quite work, I write for you so help me out with encouragement. Do I sound whiney to you? On with the story my friends….**

**Random fact #1: I am drinking lemon ice tea**

**Disclaimer: Snape and Hermione and all their friends belong to J.K Rowling, even if she lets me play with them like playdo.**

Chapter 9

Ginny Weasley was not a dumb girl, not by far. She could tell what was going on around her, had plenty of contacts in the gossip world and she knew how to use the information given to her, for her own purpose. She was quite the snake amongst the lions. So she had of coarse seen the deterioration of her best friend Hermione Granger, after being friend's with her for at least 6 years. She had noticed it the first week back, but had attributed it to stress of the new year. It seemed like a typical Hermione thing. But as the weeks turned into months and Hermione only gradually getting worse, but better at hiding it, she grew concerned but didn't want to risk anything by actually saying something.

And imagine her surprise, when Hermione walked into their shared dorm with a smile on her face. Ginny hadn't seen her smile in what seemed like forever, her curiosity peaked wanting to know who put it there. Hermione slowly got ready for bed before just sitting there staring of into space.

For once in a while, Hermione had no craving to jam her skin with scars after that social interaction. She was still very confused over why her professor was being nice to her. She could have sworn he said goodbye to her using her given name, but the thought was just to weird for her to comprehend. She was interrupted by her old best friend Ginny.

"Hi, how was detention?" Ginny asked.

" Good I suppose." She replied, a small smile creped into her voice at the end.

Ginny walked over to the girl's bed and sat down. She gently pulled Hermione into her arms and held on tight. "I don't care what got you smiling Mione, but I am glad to see it." She whispered.

Hermione who was expecting the warm feeling that had been placed within her from the detention to evaporate didn't, which only added to the confusion. She was happy, all over a teacher's comment. She just didn't get it.

"Thanks Ginny, I don't really know why I am smiling but I am very happy that I am. Your not going to ask about… earlier are you?" Hermione asked, smile slowly draining.

"No, that is something you will tell someone when your ready, I'm not going to force you to do anything." She said.

Hermione looked at her friend then, as if it was the first time she really saw her. The overwhelming gooey feeling took over her body placing her in euphoria. They both said a happy goodnight and got into bed.

Hermione who usually couldn't sleep because the nightmares plagued her, felt herself go into a deep sleep. Images of Severus smiling at her from behind her back, holding her around the waste with one arm and whispering the words 'I love you' rolled in her dreams. But it quickly turned into a spiraling mass of dark gray and black smoke surrounding her body sending it through time and space until she was in a grave yard.

_All Hermione could hear was the crickets in the grass as the full moon shined upon the graves. She had no idea where she was or what she was doing, but she didn't have the distinct feeling of being lonely. She walked forward, only half examining the graves until she came upon one that immediately made her stop. _

_It was her name that was written on the head stone. Hermione, bent down to run her fingers over the lettering questioning what the hell was going on. In the shadows, something moved. It was an old man who was walking with a limp and she ran after him looking for answers. The grass was wet and muddy, though it did look the colour of silver as the moon graced its light on it. She reached a pale hand out, but as her fingers touched his shoulder she became paralyzed. She couldn't move her legs; it was if they were frozen to the cold ground. As Hermione struggled to move, the old man turned around. His eyes glassy, his voice was raspy but clear, as he spoke._

"… _the girl with the dark present will come, her trust will be betrayed five times before a life is taken. The battle between good and evil will hang by a thread within her palms, giving her the ultimate power. She will come, and all will bow down…"_

_The limping old mans voice faded as he continued to walk through the lonely graveyard, an eye blistering white taking over Hermione's vision._

She tried to run after him, to explain but she woke up violently_. _Sweat poring from her brow, the feeling of euphoria gone she rushed to the bathroom. Hermione wasn't sure, but it seemed as if she just heard a prophesy. She would have to do something she had never wanted to; go see Professor Trelawney.


End file.
